Do YOU have an addiction?

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Addiction is a really funny thing, you know. Throughout my life, I have dealt with small cases of addiction, all except one. I used to be a smoker. I smoked cigarettes for about a year and a half. Then, I got pregnant with my little baby boy, Jalen, and that was the end of my cancer stick smoking days....


For this I should be grateful, I guess. But I feel I wasn't ready to quit. I feel the urge all the time to smoke. It was a way for me to have some alone time. I could sit outside in the pure air and just be by myself for a few minutes. I no longer have anything close to that kind of release. So what should I do? Find another addiction I suppose.


How pitiful I am, the highlight of my day, is going into Walgreens and cruising the aisles reading labels and taking entirely too long to buy the diapers I went there for. I am just so glad to be out of the house I talk to the cashiers and everything. Like I said, I am pitiful. At least I realize and admit it.


So now I am looking for something else to help me with my stress issues. I love shoes. For a very long time it has been impossible to find shoes that I like in my size. I am a size 12, and I believe God wanted to punish me for giving me these feet, and a shoe addiction. FML......so not fair....but now I am at least able to order them online. But nothing beats going into a store and trying on a shoe.....sigh.


Another thing I have grown a great fondness for is makeup. The truth of the matter is, for most of my adult life I never even wore makeup. I have always had beautiful skin and natural beauty so I never thought I needed it. I still don't need it, I guess, but I get so bored with who I see in the mirror I have to do something to enhance myself. I have been through several tattoos and piercings, hairstyles you name it. I am still learning to love me for me. 


These sleepless nights are definitely taking its toll on me.......I am going to retire and try to rest my mind a bit...