I can not believe it..............

I did something about an hour ago that I don't normally like to do. But pure curiosity made me go ahead and do it and now I am more depressed than I think I have been all year. I weighed myself. 


I had a baby about 6 months ago. Something always baffles me.Why is it that after I give birth instead of gradually losing weight I seem to gain it? The same thing happened to me after I had my first son. I was skinny before getting pregnant the first time. Honestly I didn't like being skinny. I thought it made me look sick because I am 6 feet tall. After I had my first son, I was a nice size, but eventually I started to gain weight. I just don't get it. I weight more right now than I did when I was 9 months pregnant. 


I need to lose about 20 to 30 lbs. I think that would be a weight I could be happy about myself with. i haven't eaten anything since about 10am and I certainly do not want to eat anything now! I don't even want to cook dinner because I just have no desire to be around food. I need to do something NOW.........